


Something Comforting

by alpacameron



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, prose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26263600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alpacameron/pseuds/alpacameron
Summary: All the ways Gordon feels about Benrey.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 9
Kudos: 179





	Something Comforting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [eremazing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/eremazing/gifts).



> king of short fics back at it once again with my shitty method of writing something on my phone before passing out: in my friend eren's dms edition!

It started with “I hate you,” filled with venom and anger. Gordon hated Benrey, and no one really blamed him. He was sure to remind Benrey of it, too. Whenever he wouldn’t die or whenever he stood in his way or whenever he asked for his fucking passport for the millionth time. Gordon hated it. Gordon hated him. 

Over time, it turned into “Not because I  _ like _ you,” because he  _ didn’t, _ but still laughed at Benrey’s jokes, listened quietly to his singing, watched out for him despite knowing he’d never stay dead. Gordon said he still hated him, but he didn’t  _ completely. _ He was making exceptions. “I can’t stand you,” he’d say, defeat in his voice, but at least without a gun in Benrey’s face. 

Way, way, way later – after things are done, after his life is no longer on the line, after Benrey reappears because even after the final battle of  _ course he isn’t actually dead _ – the lines become a bit more complicated. There are ups and downs (it’s never a linear path), but eventually, it comes to a pat on the shoulder and a “I don’t hate you,” and a “Look, I like you and all,” as they sort things out, slowly, patiently (but sometimes impatiently). As inhuman as he claimed to be (and probably was), Gordon discovers how  _ human _ Benrey could be. He didn’t expect genuine emotion out of him, let alone regret or sadness. After days of anger, smugness, apathetic malice, Gordon (shallowly) didn’t think Benrey was capable of much else. At first, his anger was explosive: the absolute  _ gall _ that Benrey had to come to him and mope after it was all done. With time, however, they learn to talk to each other, and more importantly, how to listen. Benrey was not great with talking, and Gordon was not good with listening. They learned, though, and progress, eventually, was made. “I’m listening. I’m here.” 

He wouldn’t admit to caring about Benrey, but even when he hated him and really just didn’t care, he  _ still kind of did. _ Gordon is just like that; he's always looking out for others and putting them first even if he’s most vulnerable. He cares even when he doesn’t, and Benrey’s no exception. When he starts to  _ consciously _ care about Benrey, it’s a bit alarming. But he can come to terms with it, no matter how complicated his feelings toward Benrey are. 

(He does eventually say “I care about you,” though).

And after a really long time, it turns into “I worry about you,” and “I like spending time with you,” and “I think you’re funny,” and “I want you here.” Friendly pats are no longer just that, shoulders pressed together feel safe, hugs feel a little more grounding, comfort feels a little more real. Intimate, careful “I trust you”s exchanged during moments of fear and uncertainty, nights where you lay yourself out bare for the other to see and hope they treat you with kindness.

“I can’t stand you,” he says, but this time it’s because of the way Benrey makes him feel, the way his chest acts like he’s going to explode, the heat in his face and ears when…  _ Benrey. _ And Benrey smiles, because he knows the feeling all too well. 

It’s when he’s happy, smiling so wide he struggles to see, laughter bubbling up in his chest with Benrey close to him, that he says, “I think I love you.”

Then “I want to kiss you.”

And it all falls into place. 

And then it’s back to “I hate you,” but this time accompanied by laughter, said in the moments their rivalry broke through the surface of an angst long forgotten; poking and prodding that gets halfheartedly countered is thrown back and forth with matching smiles, no matter how intense the rivalry is. It’s never serious; only to get the other riled up, only filled with adoration. The desire to see the other smile. Love. And they always remind each other of it.


End file.
